But nonetheless, a close, careful examination of the Drip bill's various clauses and sub-clauses reveals alarming consequences for the average Joe, namely these:
? You'll have to shout all your Google searches aloud while you type them.
Under the bill, any citizen conducting a Google search will be required to simultaneously bellow every word they type at the top of their voice, loud enough for the neighbours to hear. Any neighbour who supplies the authorities with information leading to a conviction automatically wins an iPad Air. It's the cheapest, most comprehensive mass surveillance system ever designed.
? Every child born after August 2014 will, at birth, have one of its parents replaced by an undercover police officer.