HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED

HUMOR AND SATIRE

Oct 17 20:42

Police Keep Antifa Away From Columbus Statues By Taping Job Applications Onto Them

U.S.—Antifa factions nationwide had planned a “deface Columbus day,” on which they intended to deface and destroy statues of Christopher Columbus Monday, but authorities in many cities got the better of the radical far-left groups with a brilliant idea: by adhering legitimate job applications all over their local Columbus statues, they virtually guaranteed that Antifa groups would not approach them.

Oct 17 20:24

Democrats Storm Out Of Syria Meeting After Getting Into Shouting Match With Trump Over Whether A Hot Dog Is A Sandwich

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, and House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer all stormed out of the meeting on Syria with President Donald Trump, each side accusing the other of being “unhinged.” Apparently, the meeting broke down when Trump suggested they all order lunch and get “sandwiches.” When asked what type of sandwich he wanted, Trump suggested “hot dogs.”

Oct 17 09:31

WATCH: Climate Protesters Climbing on London Underground Trains Physically Removed by Angry Public

The Brits are fighting back now. They have had enough of the Sor's bought and paid for bums disrupting their lives!
Wish Americans would grow a set and do the same!

Extinction Rebellion protesters attempting to bring the London Underground subway system to a halt by climbing on top of trains got a sense of how much support they enjoy among ordinary members of the public when angry commuters pelted them with rubbish and physically dragged them back to the platform.

Oct 15 07:43

University Study Proves Women Are Gold Diggers | Redonkulas.com

Popp is on a rant!

But guess who still gets blamed for it?! Well done, Cornell University.
The article detailing the study: https://www.studyfinds.org/why-are-ma...

Oct 15 06:52

Hillary Clinton Says it May Take Her 'More Time' to Grasp Person With Penis Can Identify as Woman

IMHO! They are both more than a few bricks shy of a load!

Although in most of their public appearances, mother Hillary and daughter Chelsea, seem to be doing their best to present a united liberal front, demonstrating how similar their train of thought is, there seems to be something they don’t quite see eye to eye on – a “woman” with a penis.

Oct 13 10:28

Texas man brings steer to Petco to test ‘all leashed pets are welcome’ policy

Don’t have a cow, man - unless it's at Petco.

A leashed steer was recently brought into a Houston-area Petco to test the store's welcome policy for pets.

Oct 12 21:13

Florida Man Thought He Was Stealing Opioids. They Were Actually Laxatives

All he got was a pain in the ass!

A Florida man who allegedly stole drugs from a Pinellas County home thought he was pocketing powerful opioids – but what he actually stole left him flushed.

Oct 11 06:54

Squirrels stash more than 200 walnuts under hood of car

Oct. 9 (UPI) -- A Pittsburgh woman who detected a burning odor and heard a strange noise while driving her car looked under the hood and discovered a squirrel had stashed grass and more than 200 walnuts on top of her engine.

Oct 11 06:17

6 Ways The Salem Witch Trials Were Fairer Than Democrats’ Impeachment Inquiry

Attorney Greg Jarrett recently wrote, “It is Pelosi and Schiff who are abusing the power of impeachment in their latest ‘witch hunt.’” This is wildly historically inaccurate. Jarrett should immediately apologize to the memory of the prosecutors of the 17th-century Massachusetts witch trials.

This is because House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Rep. Adam Schiff are currently running their Ukraine impeachment farce with far less due process than the superstitious and backwards legal system offered the “witches” of Salem.

Below are a few examples of how Jarrett has unfairly slandered the jurisprudence of 17th-century Massachusetts.

Oct 09 21:40

Why Gilligan’s Island May be the Answer to Police Brutality

By John J. Baeza
I retired from the NYPD and moved to Florida like many NYC policemen and firemen do- there is no state income tax here and it doesn’t snow. I decided I needed a job so I worked for a local Sheriff’s office for three years.

Policemen always have their hands full when they deal with emotionally disturbed persons (EDP’s in NYPD parlance). It was no different in south Florida.

Oct 09 10:17

Elizabeth Warren - I'm An Indian Too

Oct 09 05:04

Trumpenstein Must be Destroyed!

So here we go. Like a 1960s straight-to-drive-in Hammer Film Production, the 2020 campaign season has begun. Dig into your bucket of popcorn, pop the flap on your box of Good & Plenty, turn off your mind, and enjoy the show. From the looks of the trailer, it’s going to be a doozy.

That’s right, folks, it’s the final installment of the popular Trumpenstein horror movie series, TRUMPENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED! It will be playing, more or less around the clock, on more or less every screen in existence, until November 3, 2020 … or until Trump takes that lonely walk across the White House lawn to the Marine One chopper and flies off to Mar-a-Lago in disgrace.

Oct 08 09:21

The ‘Whistleblower’ Probably Isn’t

It’s an insult to real whistleblowers to use the term with the Ukrainegate protagonist

By MATT TAIBBI: The unnamed person at the center of this story sure didn’t sound like a whistleblower. Our intelligence community wouldn’t wipe its ass with a real whistleblower.

Americans who’ve blown the whistle over serious offenses by the federal government either spend the rest of their lives overseas, like Edward Snowden, end up in jail, like Chelsea Manning, get arrested and ruined financially, like former NSA official Thomas Drake, have their homes raided by FBI like disabled NSA vet William Binney, or get charged with espionage like ex-CIA exposer-of-torture John Kiriakou. It’s an insult to all of these people, and the suffering they’ve weathered, to frame the ballcarrier in the Beltway’s latest partisan power contest as a whistleblower.

Oct 05 07:41

Again, It Is A Terrible Idea To Call The Cops And Ask Them To Test Your Meth

In other news.

An Alabama woman concerned that her methamphetamine may have been tainted with another drug asked police to test her stash, a service request that resulted in her arrest for possession of a controlled substance.

Cops report that Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, called police dispatch Wednesday seeking assistance.

Sep 30 11:12

Groucho Marx Quotes About Politics

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people.
https://www.azquotes.com/quote/479122

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook.

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.

Poverty makes people sub-human Excess of wealth makes people inhuman
https://www.azquotes.com/author/9562-Groucho_Marx

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does.

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn’t educate America if they started at 6:30.
https://humoropedia.com/groucho-marx-quotes/

Sep 27 19:35

Jack London?

As writer or thinker, Jack London can’t touch George Orwell, but he’s nearly the Brit’s equal when it comes to describing society’s bottom. To both, being a writer is as much a physical as an intellectual endeavor. Wading into everything, they braved all discomforts and dangers. This attitude has become very rare, and not just among writers. Trapped in intensely mediated lives, we all think we know more as we experience less and less.

London’s most enduring book may turn out to be The People of the Abyss, his 1903 investigation into the abjectly impoverished of London’s East End.

Dressed accordingly, London joined its homeless to see how they survived. With a 58-year-old carter and a 65-year-old carpenter, London wandered the cold streets, “From the slimy, spittle-drenched, sidewalk, they were picking up bits of orange peel, apple skin, and grape stems, and, they were eating them.

Sep 26 11:55

Raccoons break through roof to ransack British Columbia home

Sept. 24 (UPI) -- A British Columbia man who was on vacation when he received a phone call from a neighbor about a possible break-in returned home to find a group of raccoons had broken through his ceiling and ransacked the house.

Sep 23 22:41

Brother Bezos

Televangelism used to be where the easy money was . . . preaching about the End Times – which never came – and promising salvation, for a fee.

Put your hands on the television set and pray with me!

Insert tongue-talking gibberish here . . . and send in your $20.

Now the money’s in preaching eschatological “climate crisis” – formerly just “change” – and selling electric cars, to salve the soul.

Sep 21 20:56

China's Giant $400 Billion Iran Investment Complicates U.S. Options

Sanctions,Smanctions! Checkmate!

Amidst historic U.S. – Iran tensions, Beijing is doubling-down on its strategic partnership with Tehran, ignoring U.S. efforts to isolate the Islamic Republic from global markets. Following an August visit by Iran Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif to Beijing, the two countries agreed to update a 25-year program signed in 2016, to include an unprecedented $400 billion of investment in the Iranian economy – sanctions be damned.

Sep 18 10:12

This was too good not to share. Hats off to the fine person creating this one.

Sep 13 07:23

Real Stable Genius - Mr Cable News Fredo Impersonator

We at Something Wicked Media apologize for this meme's blatant "Cuomophobia.

Sep 13 07:17

goodbye

Aug 20 20:32

Scientific formula finds the world's funniest flatulence is 'long, loud and ever so slightly wet'

The Flatulence Report, for The Beano, has worked out a mathematical formula to find what sort of breaking wind was the most comical.

Academics tested for 176 different noises ranging from low to high pitch, short to long, dry to wet and from loud to squeaking.

Components in the formula included intensity, length, social embarrassment, the number of children present and the age and gender of whoever hears it.

The funniest fart came out on top in a public vote with a mean score of 8.27 out of 10 - also being described as 'unfortunate' and 'potentially messy'.

Aug 20 09:46

World’s oldest living pet Tommy the tortoise celebrates 121st birthday

What is the secret to a long life? Well if you ask this 121-year-old it’s dandelions and sleeping for six months a year.

Tommy the tortoise is celebrating her birthday and is now the world’s oldest living pet.

She has survived two world wars, six different monarchs and 21 US Presidents.

Born in 1898, Tommy has been in Sheila Floris’s family since 1909 when her grandmother Margaret Cloonan bought her for £1 – when the tortoise was already 11 years old.

Sheila claims that Tommy’s longevity can be attributed to her healthy diet of garden weeds and plenty of love and care from her owners over the last 121 years.

Aug 20 05:44

If vegetable gardens don’t complain about being OUR food, who are humans to complain about being food to OUR ‘masters'? The trial of the vegetables suing humans for slavery, trafficking, and murder! The trial of humans suing ETs and .01% master-minions fo

I factually assert that human beings are better understood as vegetables intentionally cultivated by ET overlords managing a .01% human “leadership/bloodline minion class” than explanations with abundant “Big Lies” from “official” history texts.

This essay will:

Aug 19 09:20

Amazon Workers Now Being Shipped In Packages To Personally Assure Customers They’re Treated Well

Tongue in Cheek!

DURHAM, NC—In an effort to improve the company’s image amid criticism about poor conditions in its warehouses, e-commerce giant Amazon has begun to ship workers in packages to personally assure customers they’re being treated well, sources confirmed Friday. “When people who don’t know any better criticize my employer, they’re totally ignoring the fact that Amazon just sent me on an all-expenses-paid trip across the country in this nice, sturdy box,” said an Amazon employee identifying himself as Wilson O’Connell.

Aug 14 07:05

Fredo: a MEME by@carpedonktum

Video

Aug 13 22:49

Bigfoot riding Nessie!

Funny! More believable than Epstein killing himself.

Aug 13 09:35

Stern show before PC -

Aug 12 02:16

This Guy's Hilarious 'Looking for a Wife' Ad from 1865 Will Make You Want to Marry Him

Back in the 19th century, online dating wasn't a thing yet - no Tinder, no Match, no Craiglist - so people had to find other means to search for a mate. Apparently, advertising yourself in your local newspaper was the norm, and that's exactly what this 18-year-old guy did.
The 1800s were a simpler time in a lot of aspects, and thus, people had simpler wants and needs. If you had land with good yield and a suitable home, you're pretty much set for life. And this lad had the whole package, plus a 'good set of teeth.'
Check out his sweet and humorous ad below...

Aug 04 10:16

Portland woman allegedly beat police officer with his own baton

Only in Portland!

A 38-year-old woman has been charged with assaulting a public safety officer and unlawful use of a weapon after she allegedly attacked a police officer and used his own baton to beat him as he tried to assist her following a motorcycle crash.

Aug 01 06:24

A Trump/Q supporter, Hillary supporter, and I converse in a bar about the state of American Empire…

A fictional scenario to explore what the evidence is, and is not, for Q-Anon, as well as the "Emperor's New Clothes" obvious evidence of ongoing illegal US rogue state empire.

Jul 30 17:13

‘Idiots’: NC gun shop billboard mocks AOC and three other liberal congresswomen

On Monday, the gun store appeared to be doubling down on its message, posting it was going to offer “4 Horsemen” bumper stickers next week “due to overwhelming demand.” The stickers will be available to people who come to the shop and say they’re voting for Trump in 2020, the store said. “Snowflakes and Liberals are not eligible,” said the post.

Jul 24 08:13

Video: The following laughs are brought to you by #MiniAOC.

Because if we’re stuck with an #AOC might as well make it Mini AOC. Back with 2 Absolutely Hilarious Videos

Jul 22 14:06

Asylum Seekers

Jul 22 14:03

Park Or Don't Park?

Jul 16 10:52

Batman vs Antifa

Jul 11 23:26

Australian man slides nude through a train carriage in Melbourne

A nude man has caused a stir on a packed Melbourne train.

The video, posted to the Lilydale Line Facebook page, shows passengers on the Frankston Line loudly cheering a nude man, as he runs through a train, before completing a long slip'n'slide down the aisle of the busy carriage.

The short video, posted to the Lilydale Line Facebook page, shows the naked passenger, as he gets up from his seat while other passengers cheer him on and film him on their phones.

As the man covers his genitals with a single hand, he makes his way to the back of the carriage, as the passengers cheer and scream wildly.

Jul 10 12:20

2019 interview with Socrates: Are Earth’s sheeple damned for psychopathic dictatorship and voting to execute Truth? Or are White Hat insiders unveiling ‘The Great Awakening’ for inescapable and final Truth? (8 of ?)

Socrates and I "discuss" the degree to which ordinary human beings reject the most important areas of factual consideration to upgrade the quality of Life for the planet, our nation, and our communities.

Jul 09 09:40

ban fire

Jul 09 09:35

Roundup

Garrison comic

Jul 08 05:46

‘Homeland Security CSI’ July 4th TV special: Agents Dick Strong & Fannie Goode bring ‘Illegal Terrorist Combatant Associates’ to justice!

Satire often demonstrates how our real-world so-called "news," so-called "political leadership," and so-called "entertainment" help indoctrinate Americans to accept dictatorial government. Americans' loss of promised rights are real, forever lie-started and illegal Wars of Aggression are real, and exponential debt is real, and the challenge of US .01% "leadership" is to convince the American public to embrace these slave conditions as "necessary" for public safety.

Read on to see this is the point of so much of what we're given to watch for "public programming."

Jul 07 11:21

Refugees wanted

Jul 07 11:17

democrat-debate

Jul 07 09:47

Official Shoe Of ANTIFA

Jul 07 07:58

Flashback: In 2017, The First Robot Granted Citizenship Was 'Happy' But Apparently Not Very Smart

Original post.

Why grant her citizenship?

Well, that one's easy, if you are familiar with the historical regard that this particular country has for women’s rights.

What country?

Saudi Arabia.

Given such painstaking attention to detail, it must not have seemed like much of a stretch.

Jul 06 07:51

Ghosty - Big Tech Book Burning (Original Song) #VoxAdpocalypse

"YOUTUBE IS SUPPRESSING THIS VIDEO. FUCK THEIR QUARANTINES. FUCK THEIR CENSORSHIP

Jul 01 12:46

More Female Abuse

Jun 28 19:53

Which Candidate Will Give Us The Most Free Sh*t?!?

I watched both Democratic debates. It was without a doubt, a contest as to which one of them will give away the most free ‘sh*t’.

Jun 25 13:32

BURGER KING BREXIT

Jun 21 08:44

So God Made a Banker

Jun 16 09:41

Better quality imagery of the actual Oman Gulf tanker attack

Jun 16 06:50

POMPEO UNVEILS NEW US STRATEGY OF ATTRIBUTING BLAME FOR ATTACKS BEFORE THEY HAVE HAPPENED

SOURCE: THE BLOG MIRE

Allergy Warning: May contain traces of Nuts & Boltons

The US Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, has blamed Iran for the deaths of 23 Swedish sailors in an attack on an oil tanker in the Strait of Hormuz. However, in what is said to be an unusual move, the incident referred to by Mr Pompeo hasn’t yet happened and no-one has died. Nonetheless, Mr Pompeo was adamant that Iran must bear responsibility for the future incident, and has vowed a strong response:

“It is the assessment of the US Government that Iran will be responsible for this terrible incident, which could well happen in the next few days or weeks. This possible future attack is a threat to international peace and security, a blatant assault on the freedom of navigation, and an unacceptable escalation of tension by Iran. We cannot let this possible attack go unanswered.”

Webmaster's Commentary: 

For whoever, or whatever collaboration created this, I have only 3 words: BRAVO, WELL DONE!!:-)

One does have to wonder, however, of perhaps our Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, has read the book "Minority Report" one too many times, and doesn't quite understand why the actual ending ... is not quite to his liking :-)

May 29 18:27

NZ Budget 2019: The face of today's Budget has given up on New Zealand and moved to Australia

The woman on the cover of the Government's Wellbeing Budget says she had to give up New Zealand because she couldn't afford to live here - and moved to Australia.

Vicky Freeman said she got the shock of her life when a friend messaged her two days ago saying there was "a guy" holding her photo on the news.

"A friend just messaged me and said 'you're all over the news'. And I was like 'what, what have I done, I'm not even there'.

"And she's like I'm sure it's you and Ruby-Jean and I'm like 'I don't think so, I've never done an ad for the Budget'.

"Then she sent me the photo of the guy holding the magazine and I was just like 'oh my God, yep, that's me and Ruby-Jean."

That guy was Finance Minister Grant Robertson, posing with copies of the Budget as they came off the printing press.

May 27 12:45

REPLACING BLONDE JOKES THANKS TO AOC

May 27 02:41

'Hate speech' row erupts after Rotorua councillor Tania Tapsell compared to the Pied Piper

Rotorua Lakes Council is under fire for making a police complaint of hate speech after mayoral candidate Reynold Macpherson compared councillor Tania Tapsell to the Pied Piper of Hamelin.

Tapsell has described Macpherson's comments as "hate speech" and although it was the council that lodged the complaint she said she supported the decision.

The row is over a post Macpherson made on his organisation's Facebook page, Rotorua District Residents and Ratepayers, on May 14.

Macpherson shared a Local Focus video of Tapsell, published on rotoruadailypost.co.nz, in which she talks about her role on the council, referencing the environment, housing and youth running for council.

Macpherson posted the words, "Beware the charismatic pitch of the Pied Piper" with a link to the video. He also references the Pied Piper story of the rat catcher hired "to lure away the vermin that had overrun the village" before commenting on her as a councillor and her comments on the video.

May 25 07:43

MERCK CREATED HIT LIST TO “DESTROY,” “NEUTRALIZE” OR “DISCREDIT” DISSENTING DOCTORS

Merck made a “hit list” of doctors who criticized Vioxx, according to testimony in a Vioxx class action case in Australia. The list, emailed between Merck employees, contained doctors’ names with the labels “neutralise,” “neutralised” or “discredit” next to them.

May 23 09:44

Could be a good NATO ad, "Be all you can be...."

May 15 10:52

In Brazen Act Of Aggression, Iran Deploys Its Country Right Next To Our Aircraft Carrier

In what's being called a dangerous act of aggression, the country of Iran has deployed its country right next to the USS Abraham Lincoln Carrier Strike Group, which was just minding its own business in the Persian Gulf.

"It is clear that Iran wants war," said National Security Advisor John Bolton. "Our carrier strike group was just off on a pleasure cruise on the other side of the world, and Iran insisted on placing its country right next to it."

May 02 12:42

From The Memory Hole: The Ambiguous Nuclear Plant Supervisor

"You can't put too much water in a nuclear reactor." ~ Ed Asner

(This video was scrubbed from social media after Fukushima. So far, direct-to-Twitter is more forgiving.)

Apr 23 11:30

TRUMP vs HILLARY (Rap News 36 - Special Edition!)

Hello world. RAP NEWS is back for a special episode on the 2016 USA Election mayhem, feat. Hillary Clinton vs Donald Trump + a touch of Jill Stein & Gary Johnson. This one's dedicated to all the Rap News fans out there!

I'm delighted to bring this amazing series back to life for this historic event! I look forward to seeing how this episode is received. I know it won't be the same without Robert Foster, but hope you'll find the same spirit and juice alive and well. If you like this new episode, and leave lots of loving comments for the awesome new team who joined me to make this possible (nudge-nudge!), we might just come together again and bring you more Rap News videos in the future.

Apr 22 12:19

Honest Government Ad | Julian Assange

Apr 22 11:22

THE DAY COLLUSION DIED - Parody of American Pie | Don Caron

Apr 11 12:17

The 2016 election summed up in 8 seconds…

Afternoon meme comedy break - This is pretty funny...

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Apr 09 13:34

Ocasio-Cortez Suddenly Shifts To Speaking Like Jar Jar Binks While Addressing Crowd Of Gungans

NABOO—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has come under fire after giving a speech to a crowd of Gungan supporters on the planet of Naboo. Critics claim Ocasio-Cortez clearly shifted her speaking style to try to emulate the Gungans’ speech patterns, changing her speech to sound exactly like that of Jar Jar Binks.

“Meesa Ocasio-Cortez. Meesa gonna seize the means of production big-big,” she said as the Gungan crowd cheered. “Meesa your humble servant who’s in charge.”

“Yousa all gonna do whatever I say now, okeeday?” she added.

Apr 05 23:15

George Carlin - American Bullshit

Apr 05 03:19

Man turns DoC hut into brewery, DoC doesn't mind

Imagine tramping in the bush for a while only to find a cosy hut to have a rest. You open the door of the hut and inside ... a brewery. Have you had dreams like that?

For Lorraine Freeman, this was a reality. The tramper told Stuff she was tramping in the Tararuas when she got to Roaring Stag Hut, only to find a "nice young American guy" brewing beer inside it, using water from the river nearby.

The man was reportedly using a big pot to brew a large amount of beer and had some friends joining him later to drink it.

Freeman was surprised to find out DoC had no issue with the man brewing beer at the hut.

*Love this guy!*

Apr 03 06:36

Q: White Hat insiders exposing + arresting .01% rogue state criminals, OR Black Hats lowering the bar of corporate media ‘reporting’ + public gun confiscations + total censorship of ‘unofficial’ speech for their endgame?

*hyperlinks/videos live at source*

Two premises:
1. We the People are massively and continuously dominated by a .01% “wanna-be empire class” with ongoing lie-started and illegal Wars of Aggression, Crimes Against Humanity killing hundreds of millions with intentional and preventable poverty, and looting tens of trillions (and here).
2. I’ve speculated whether Q is true or PsyOp. Either way, .01% arrests OR the following escalating tyranny is crucially important for our attention:
~lowering the bar of corporate media “reporting,”
~ongoing false flags for public gun confiscations,
~censorship of “crazy conspiracy theories” disagreeing with “official and credible sources,”
~US illegal rogue state empire (as usual) including with Trump dictating Venezuela’s democracy overthrown (and likely also “overthrowing” their electrical power), supporting Israel’s illegal War of Aggression on Gaza, war-mongering on Iran since Operation Iraqi Liberation (O.I.L.), etc., etc.,

Apr 03 03:37

Reuters Confirms That Bolton Torpedoed the Hanoi Summit

(*and if the Fact as Alleged is True! , then Biden could theoretically be the real reason , may~be , that Trump lifted sanctions on NKorea! )

(*THERE IT IS THEN!
It's Official: Biden Forced Trump's Hand!)

Apr 02 11:46

Trumpian Comedy Break…

Some pretty awesome work here...

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Mar 31 08:50

Mueller's Gang Tried To Take Down Our Superman

Mar 27 15:31

I was offended - steve hughes

Mar 24 13:17

INTERNET DATING | Redonkulas.com

Profanity and Butts!

Popp lays down all his tips for how NOT to go about dating on the internet. Since just about everyone does this nowadays, listen closely and try not to get too offended. This one is brutal.

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