HUMOR AND SATIRE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED


HUMOR AND SATIRE

Dec 18 11:16

COMIC STRIP OF THE DAY ~~ TORTURED LOGIC

Dec 18 09:57

10 Minutes After the End of 'The Matrix' Trilogy

Morpheus and the Architect stand behind the lectern in a packed White House press room. Morpheus addresses the crowd.

"People, hear me! You are all living in a vast simulation, a prison for your mind two centuries in your future. I am here to tell you that everything is controlled by evil machines! I am here to tell you that you are now free! I am here, and feel I should add that I am not crazy!"

Murmuring from the crowd indicates that nobody believes any of this. Especially the last part. The Architect sighs, and addresses the crowd.

"What he says is true. This is a simulation." Everyone in the Matrix suddenly spends five seconds in their goo tank before returning to the Matrix. Millions are violently sick. More people swear about never wanting to go through that again. Morpheus faces the crowd with his cool mirrored shades, the worst possible thing to be wearing when you're asking people to trust you.

Dec 17 19:46

Star Trek: TOS Errand of Mercy

Where's the Organians when you need them. My kinda folks!

The Organians: "super-evolved" and completely pacifistic.

Dec 17 10:55

NO NATIVITY SCENE IN DC THIS YEAR

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene
at Capital Hill this Christmas season.

This isn’t for any religious reason. They simply have not been
able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation’s Capital.

The search for a Virgin continues.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Dec 17 07:01

President Obama’s Joke Calling Troops ‘Santa in Fatigues’ Silences Audience

President Obama was met with complete silence when attempting to make a joke in front of a group of U.S. soldiers. The response only kicked up a notch when he mentioned the C-130 military aircraft, and even then it was barely lukewarm.

- See more at: http://www.thedailysheeple.com/president-obamas-joke-calling-troops-sa...

Dec 15 11:25

Man shoots himself as police approach him at a fast food restaurant

A novel approach. If you see the police coming for you,kill yourself before they do and don't give them the satisfaction and 3 days off with pay! Boy that'll teach em!

by Adam McDonald / KMOV.com staff

KMOV.com

Posted on December 14, 2014 at 3:30 PM

Updated today at 8:39 AM

ST. LOUIS (KMOV.com) – A man shot and killed himself as police approached him while he was in his vehicle at a fast food restaurant drive thru in Jefferson County.

Dec 15 06:34

George W. Bush Presidential Library remodeling now complete

Dec 14 08:03

BREAKING: George W. Bush Presidential Library remodeling now complete.

Dec 13 06:56

Torturer's Apprentice from Baron Munchausen

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The new National Anthem of the United States?

Dec 12 15:54

Darwin Awards study says men are far more idiotic than women

Scientists analyze the past 10 years of silly, avoidable deaths and find that almost 90 percent of the “protagonists” in these scenarios were male.

Dec 12 12:56

The Hunt

This dog kept his master out of hell. Classic Twilight Zone episode.

Hyder Simpson lives with his wife and his hound-dog Rip in the backwoods. Mrs. Simpson does not like having the dog indoors, but Rip saved Hyder's life once, and Hyder won't be parted from him. Mrs. Simpson has seen some bad omens recently, and warns Hyder not to go raccoon hunting that night. When Rip dives into a pond after a raccoon, Hyder jumps in after him, but only the raccoon comes up out of the water. Next morning, Hyder and Rip wake up next to the pond. When they return home, Hyder finds that neither his wife, the preacher, nor the neighbors can hear him or see him.

Dec 12 07:42

A HELPFUL SUGGESTION FOR MY FORMER COLLEAGUES IN HOLLYWOOD! SANTA CLAUS VERSUS THE NAZIS!

So I started to wonder, after decades of Hollywood obsession with events that happened before I was even born (and I am sixty one), they gotta be scraping the bottom of the barrel for movies about Nazis.

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Dec 11 08:21

Obama asks Netanyahu why he bombed Syria

Dec 08 14:36

Robber With Toy Gun Shot by Pharmacist With Real Gun

A man with a toy gun attempted to rob a pharmacy but was shot by the pharmacist armed with a real handgun. -- The would-be robber is now in the hospital after he brandished a toy gun at the Medicap Pharmacy in Cheyenne, Wyo., and demanded narcotics on Saturday.

Dec 08 13:10

VIDEO: POLITICALLY-CHARGED FERGUSON SKETCH “CUT FOR TIME” FROM SNL

The sketch, which was posted on the official Saturday Night Live YouTube page on Sunday, features a St. Louis morning news team struggling to keep up the smiley, rise-and-shine routine even as protests surrounding Michael Brown’s death rage on. “Kip and Jenny,” Kenan Thompson and Cecily Strong, look like they wish they could be literally anywhere else on the planet. Of course everything they say ends up sounding tone deaf at best — “If you’re looking for a good jog, it’s being called the most superior race in town!” “The Blackies are perf– sorry, I meant, the Black Keys” — right down to the guest segment, when Chef Darrel (host James Franco) wants to make a frittata, which won the Grand Jury prize at a food festival: “To make it healthy, we’re only going to use the whites of the eggs.”

Dec 08 02:33

Sad but Funny (but Sad): America Is Much Worse Than a Bad Boyfriend

This guy sucks!!! College Humor did a video about how America is like a bad boyfriend. Aside from a few propaganda bits, they made a pretty good point.

"But...but... He can change! You know, he promises... (Every four years...)"

Actually, America is so much worse than a bad boyfriend in so many more ways than a two-and-a-half-minute video could never fully illustrate.

I'm not about to exhaust that list here because I have the rest of my life to live and it would probably take that long to get through such a list.

Ultimately, if you have a bad boyfriend, usually you can just break up with him...

(read more)

Dec 06 18:00

ONE OF A KIND US Military V 22 Osprey Tiltrotor Aircraft

The SEALS flew in on one of these. Barkin dog my big butt!How could you fly in on one of these and not give it away! Another fishy tale from our gov!

Dec 05 07:16

"So Bad It Should Be Illegal."

Dec 03 22:42

Goon Thug Cops Murder At Will — Paul Craig Roberts

Goon Thug Cops Murder At Will

Paul Craig Roberts

Another gang of goon thug gratuitous murderers has been let off by a racist grand jury and a racist non-prosecutor. Read the verbiage spewed by NY mayor Bill de Blasio and the Obama Puppet: http://rt.com/usa/211203-garner-chokehold-grand-jury-decision/ They are so sorry about the collateral damage of protecting the public from criminals and terrorists. Without the death of innocents, none of us would be safe. Our safety depended on the NYPD murder of Eric Garner, a father of six who was a threat to no one.

Another police murder of a US citizen who was no threat to anyone–just more collateral damage–as the US military calls it when US forces blow up kids’ soccer games, weddings, funerals, and birthday parties. Any concentration of people, regardless of what they are doing, is considered to be an enemy force and legitimate target.

Dec 01 14:48

Jihadelicious? ISIS shares new pancake recipe

Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) militants have released a new recipe on the internet for pancakes – with the stated intention of “extend[ing] the energy and power of the Mujahideen (fighters).”

Nov 30 11:24

THANKSGIVING IN FERGUSON (SPOOF)

Nov 28 08:00

MORE SPOOFS ON FERGUSON/PALESTINE

Nov 28 01:40

Politics of Thanksgiving

snip: Thanksgiving Day celebrates not justice or equality but aggression and enslavement. It affirms the genocidal beliefs that destroyed millions of Native American people and their cultures from the Pilgrim landings to the 20th century.

Nov 26 10:28

LATUFF’S FERGUSON SPOOFS

Nov 26 08:53

#FERGUSON POLITICAL CARTOONS

Nov 21 08:03

EXCLUSIVE: EURO TO DROP FIAT STATUS AND ADOPT NEW COMMODITY BACKING

After a great deal of deliberation, altercation, masturbation and machination, the Bundesbank and the European Central Bank have decided to relaunch the euro, which will in future be backed by the Bog Standard. Although not at first sight the most prepossessing name one might choose, it turns out on examination to be an inspired choice.

First and foremost, the acronym matches that of the Bank of Greece, thus signalling that the currency’s backup will be dodgy, overvalued, and run by con artists who could sell gefillte fish in Tehran.

Nov 19 15:45

I'M FAMOUS! I'M A COMIC STRIP CHARACTER! :)

Nov 16 10:46

DO NOT HUG A KOALA! ~~ SERIES OF NEW TOONS

Nov 14 11:18

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Civil Forfeiture (HBO)

Nov 12 12:30

How to suck at your religion

Nov 11 16:30

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Civil Forfeiture (HBO)

Nov 11 08:38

The Holocaust's visit to Yad Vashem

Nov 09 09:27

TOON OF THE DAY ~~ WHEN DONKEYS FLY

Nov 07 09:09

The Democrats’ “race card” did not work this time

Nov 05 09:04

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Drones (HBO)

Nov 05 08:19

John Oliver on Misleading Labeling of Food Products

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Embedding was disabled for this video so you should watch it at youtube. And since the food labels have scrolled off the bottom of the show's facebook page, here is a copy you can download!

Nov 04 09:46

OUR LATEST T-SHIRT DESIGN!

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Suggested by Claire to help us get past TSA without them dropping another one of my laptops!

Nov 01 10:10

PARODY ON WHAT TO EXPECT ON YOUR FLIGHT TO ISRAEL

Jewish-American comedy writers Levinson Brothers post satirical in-flight safety video in wake of recent incidents of flight delays due to refusal of Haredi passengers’ to sit next to women.

Oct 24 07:27

WHY CRIME IS ON THE RISE IN AMERICA

Oct 21 09:25

SPOOF ON THE MOTHER OF TERRORISM

Oct 13 09:34

A LOOK AT HOW EBOLA AND ISIS ARE BEING ‘TREATED’

Oct 12 13:12

The DHS 2014 Golden Hoax Awards Introduction

Oct 10 06:51

Ebola Vaccine Commercial

Oct 09 10:50

TODAY’S TOON ~~ THE GRUESOME THREESOME

Oct 08 07:58

LATEST ISIS SPOOF

Who would they target if they got rid of ISIS so soon? Gotta keep them around at least until the next election

Oct 06 09:04

Al Gore: ‘Global Warming Will Cause Millions of People’s Heads to Explode’

Former Vice President Al Gore issued a joint statement with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) this morning warning that unless drastic measures are taken this year to curb global warming, millions of people’s heads are going to explode. Speaking to U.N. delegates at the One World Economic Forum, Gore said the cumulative effects of drought, famine, global civil wars and eroding national monuments will spark what scientists call “homocranialcombustible” – or in layman’s terms, exploding human heads

Sep 30 08:43

5 Viral Stories That Had Insane Twists After We All Moved On

The Pepper Spray Cop Got a Better Settlement Than the Students He Sprayed

Sep 27 10:40

SPOOF OF ‘HAVE GUN AT THE UN’

Sep 27 07:52

Americans Who Have Not Read a Single Article About Syria Strongly Support Bombing It

n a positive development for the U.S.-led campaign of air strikes in Syria, a new poll indicates strong, broad-based support for the mission among people who have yet to read a news article about Syria.

According to the poll, released on Tuesday, the bombing campaign got a thumbs-up from people who had no information about Syria’s civil war, including its duration, the parties involved, and what a Sunni is.

Additionally, the air strikes garnered enthusiastic support from people who could not correctly identify the President of Syria, tell what the acronym ISIS stands for, or locate Syria on a map.

Sep 26 05:25

Training At The Police Academy [CARTOON]

Sep 24 15:17

Climate March

Sep 24 09:27

Largest Climate-Change March in History Unlikely to Convince Idiots

“Look, if hundreds of thousands of people want to march about something, it’s a free country,” said Carol Foyler, an idiot from Kenosha, Wisconsin. “But let me ask them something: if the climate is really getting warmer, why was it so cold up here last winter?”

Sep 24 08:25

Americans: Feeling stupid yet?

Sep 24 07:35

Three Leaders Sign Promise to Scotland

*FANFARE* Here it is folks…Westminster’s vow to the Scottish people:

Sep 24 07:31

BOMBING IRAQ – An American Tradition

Sep 23 08:16

False Flag - The Movie!

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Click for larger image

I wish this were only humor, but right now we are seeing a repeat of the year 2001, where for months the corporate media promoted the idea of Al Qaeda and Osama Bin Laden as Uber Villains we were supposed to be afraid of, because they were coming to get us unless we got them first. Today the Pentagon is saying that the latest manufactured cartoon villain, Khorasanzilla, is in the final stages of a plot to carry out a terror attack on the United States. Funny how they can know there is a plot, that it is in its final stages, but don't know what the target is, or who is doing it. Funny. Really funny. Almost too weird to be believed, in fact!

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Sep 22 09:29

SPOOF ON HOW OBAMA INTENDS TO FIGHT EBOLA IN AFRICA

Sep 22 08:05

Obama’s latest policy on ISIS [CARTOON]

Sep 21 10:18

NEW ISIL Horror Threat!!!

Sep 21 09:16

OBAMA: ‘LET ME BE CLEAR … “

Sep 20 18:56

Summarizing Obama's ISIS Strategy Endgame (In 1 Cartoon)

Sep 20 10:32

TEST YOUR POWER OF PRAYER

Dear Lord:
This past year has been tough.

You’ve taken my favorite actor, James Garner; my favorite actress, Lauren Bacall; my favorite comedian, Robin Williams; and finally, my favorite author, Tom Clancy.

I just wanted You to know that my favorite politicians are: Bibi Netanyahu, Avigdor Lieberman, Mahmoud Abbas, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton.

Amen.

Sep 19 07:33

“Which of you ISIS terrorists wants weapons to fight ISIS?” [CARTOON]

Sep 18 09:16

NEW GAME: Obama Seeks ISIS Moles [CARTOON]

Sep 17 08:57

NEW IRAQI VIDEO SHOWS HOW ISIS WAS ‘BORN’

The video presented below was intended as satire ….. BUT, the symbolism is as real as it can get. ISIS was born out of a union of Satan (USA) and Israel ... but we already knew that

Sep 17 07:46

Satire: Tony Blair Urges the “Ukraine Solution”: Air Strikes Against Scotland in Event of ‘Yes’ Vote

Former Prime Minister Tony Blair has urged the UK government to consider military action against Scotland in the event of a vote for independence.

Mr Blair, who was prime minister between 1997 and 2007, broke his silence in the debate over Scottish independence to urge air strikes – including the use of the Trident independent nuclear deterrent – against Scottish strategic targets in the event of a ‘Yes’ victory next Thursday.

Sep 17 06:31

ISIS: “Convert to Islam or die!” [CARTOON]

Sep 15 10:05

LATEST ISIS SPOOFS

Sep 14 09:44

TIMELY SPOOF ON THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT

Sep 14 07:35

OBAMA TO DEPLOY SECRET US WEAPON TO FIGHT ISIS [CARTOON]

Sep 14 07:35

Obama takes credit for growing jobs in the world [CARTOON]

Sep 12 09:16

Please note if you use the names ISIS, IS, ISIL or Al-Qaeda, you must get written permission from the CIA

Sep 12 08:46

Scotland, you want out? We'll take your place

If Scotland votes to secede, does that open up a spot for another country? And if so -- Scotland, can we take your place?

I realize that Americans fought a bloody war of independence from England in the late 1700s, but our rifts have healed over the past 240 years. In 2013, the Pew Research Center reported that England topped America's list of favorite nations, in a near-tie with our beloved northern neighbor, Canada.

In the past few years, as America has degenerated into political and economic chaos, it has become increasingly clear that we would be far better off if we apologized for our revolt against the Crown and requested to rejoin the United Kingdom.

Sep 10 10:04

9/11: A Conspiracy Theory

Sep 07 14:32

IMAGE OF THE DAY ~~ ISIS THE TROJAN HORSE

Image ‘Copyleft’ by Carlos Latuff

Just look who’s hiding inside ...

Sep 06 08:09

Photo of six shoveling secretaries needs a caption

Sep 06 07:37

Joan Rivers arrives at the Pearly Gates ! [CARTOON]

Joan Rivers dead after calling Obama gay and Michelle a tranny and saying Palestinians deserve to be dead

Sep 05 07:28

‘Most convincing evidence’: Russian embassy trolls NATO with toy tanks

Some of Russia’s diplomats have joined a digital diplomacy row as they trolled NATO by “leaking” on Twitter the alliance’s “most convincing evidence” of Russian troops’ alleged presence in Ukraine.

The Twitter account @RussEmbassyUAE, which is the official Twitter of the Russian Embassy in the United Arab Emirates, posted a picture of tiny toy trucks, tanks and armored vehicles all lined up on the ground, with the words: “#NATO's latest evidence of #Russian armor invading #Ukraine has been leaked! Seems to be the most convincing ever!”

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Ya gotta love their sense of humor!

Sep 03 06:23

A Darkness Blacker than Night. The Horror!!! The Horror!!!

Suddenly it dawned on me. I had been in someone's body. The tunnel had been the esophagus and the columns were the vocal chords. The rows of stones were teeth and the pustulent red circle were lips. I knew from a rush of intuitive force that I had been in the body of Joan Rivers and now I began to make out the features of a horrific gargoyle.

Aug 29 05:55

Monty Python State Department

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings wearing horned helmets.

Whenever the word "war" is repeated, they begin singing and/or chanting.

A man and woman enter. The man is played by Eric Idle, the woman is played by Graham Chapman (in drag), and the Secretary of State is played by Terry Jones, also in drag.

Aug 22 08:21

Artist's Impression Of President Obama's Urgent Matters In Washington

Aug 20 06:47

The 21 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Powerful People

The great Uncle Ben once said, "With great power, comes great responsibility." Some famous folks didn't get that memo, though, evidenced by them just saying whatever stupid things their brains just come up with.

Aug 19 11:22

#Ferguson ~~ LATUFF’S LATEST SPOOFS

“No more pigs in our community”! … A quote from the Black Panthers

Aug 13 10:09

Remy's TSA Contest Entry

Aug 07 10:19

George Carlin on American Foreign Policy - Bombing Brown People

Aug 06 09:49

Tom Lehrer - So Long, Mom

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Posted for the 69th anniversary of the US dropping a nuclear weapon on Hiroshima.

Jul 30 12:56

Tom Lehrer - We Will All Go Together When We Go

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With the US Government rushing hell-for-leather into a potential nuclear war with Russia... I figured it was time to remind everyone of this little ditty!

Jul 29 11:18

How the IMF chose Kiev's new Junta!

Jul 25 09:34

Operation Security Bottom

But the Palestinians were naïve if they, even for one second, believed that the Jewish Genius was going to be intimidated by this new form of Islamo-Tunnelism. The Israeli defense ministry was quick to gather some ideas. Earlier this week it presented the cabinet with a few operative solutions.

Sarah Toddler, the secretary of the Kindergarten Teachers Union (KTU) and the author of the worldwide progressive best seller Poopoo-Kaka-Weewee-Pipi was amongst the first experts to be invited to the meeting. The experienced early-age educator suggested to wrap Israel’s bottom with a nappie (diaper). “Such a solution’, she said, “would provide us with security but also a sense of relative comfort.” Minister Naftali Bennett, famous for his hard-core nationalist inclinations was very supportive, he argued that such an idea, wrapping the Jewish State with a diaper may even “fuel Zionism with a sense of new begging.”

Jul 25 07:31

US Intel releases footage of Vladimir Putin climbing down Brooklyn Bridge after flag placement

Jul 23 16:23

Ray Stevens - Come to the USA

Jul 23 11:27

MH17 US B.S. [CARTOON]

Jul 23 07:55

John Oliver: We’re happy to ignore it because it’s so easy not to care about prisoners

The US has over two million people in prison or jail, which is nearly one in every one hundred adults. In case its unclear to you how utterly screwed up that is, think about the fact that we actually incarcerate more people than China. Draconian drug laws, mandatory minimums and plain old racism all play a role in this crisis., but there seems to be little political will behind doing anything about it. John Oliver gave an excellent summary of the issue on Last Week Tonight.

Jul 21 13:43

MORE GAZA SPOOFS

Jul 21 11:45

#GazaUnderFire ~~ SPOOFS

Images ‘Copyleft’ by Carlos Latuff

Jul 17 11:17

PROOF THAT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SMART TO HAVE A SMART PHONE

Jul 16 10:58

SPOOF OF THE TWO WORLD CUPS

Jul 16 10:58

JON STEWART’S SPOOF ON THE ‘BOMB BETTER WAR’

“A massive protest scheduled for July 18 and 19 across the United States is aimed at stopping the influx of Central American children flooding across the border, and more than a dozen smaller community protests already have played roles in stopping the children from being brought there.

Citizens in Westminster, Maryland; Oracle, Arizona; Vassar, Michigan; Greece, New York, and many other places have blocked the importation of illegal aliens into their communities through public protests, letters and official resolutions from elected leaders.”

Jul 15 11:59

TODAY’S GAZA SPOOF

Bibi and Abbas love to watch the horror show together

Jul 14 07:53

A Finger in My Soup

Joseph spoke up: "How did the finger get in his soup?"

"The cooks must have put it there," said the manager.

"And are you going to do anything about it?" I yelled.

"Well," he replied, calmly, but a bit as if I were the one who'd done something wrong, "if the cooks put it there, they had a reason. I support the cooks, don't you?"

Webmaster's Commentary: 

Read this all the way through.

Jul 04 11:29

Freedom: Summed Up In One Image

Jul 04 07:41

Lewis Black On America

Jul 04 06:42

UNCLE SAMta Kickstarter Promo

Jun 30 09:16

LATUFF’S LATEST INTERNATIONAL SPOOFS

Jun 30 06:41

FOOD FOR THOUGHT BY JUNIUS P. LONG

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for being in the country illegally ...you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

Jun 27 08:17

POOR OL” HILLARY – CLINTONS DEAD BROKE [CARTOONS]

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Slow load, but worth the wait!

Apr 05 11:09

Porn Stars Allie Haze, Chastity Lane Call For Mass Wank-Off Against Santorum: VIDEO

Sorry couldn't resist this one!

Porn stars Allie Haze (of Star Wars XXX fame) and Chastity Lane are asking good Americans everywhere to, um, reach down and touch themselves to oppose the presidential hopes of one Rick Santorum.

Sep 08 14:43

FBI Admits to Tracking/Tracing/Databasing Ordinary Tourists Forever (and a Day)

FBI Admits to Tracking/Tracing/Databasing Ordinary Tourists Forever (and a Day)
SoCal Martial Law Alerts
September 7, 2009

"If somebody is filming a power plant facility on the East Coast ... no big deal," said Michael Heimbach, assistant director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation's (FBI) Counterterrorism Division. But if "the same individuals, or a car used by the individuals, shows up at the Hoover Dam. Now we’re saying, ‘Okay, what’s going on here?’"

Um. What's going on here?

I hate to break the news to you, Mr. Heimbach, but what you describe would be called a:

Road Trip

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